Although the word ‘father’ might be a familiar and friendly word to most people, I feel somewhat detached and unfamiliar. This is because my father had very little time to spend with me when I was young. So, I had more time to spend with my mother, and became more intimate with my mother than my father. In the end, my relationship with my father became very awkward; it was like living with an uncomfortable guest.
As time gradually passed, I became eleven in a blink of an eye. In that year, my father told my family that we were going to live in a Chinese city called Tianjin because of his job. I didn’t want to leave Korea, so I thought, ‘Oh, my father obviously must love his job more than me’. It took some time for me to adapt living in a foreign country, so I simultaneously loved and hated my father until I completely adapted to China. So, I didn’t talk or spend time with my father even when I met him. I still felt uncomfortable spending time with him.
Time kept flowing and 5 years have passed. I have thought that my life in China would never end, but my father had to return to his post in Korea. So, my family was going to return to Korea. However, I have adapted to the American curriculum and was fond of it, so I didn’t want to return to Korea. I knew that going to an international school and living in a foreign country was costly, so I knew that my clandestine hopes weren’t going to come true. I have never told anyone that I aspired to stay here. Somehow, my parents knew my wishes and talked about it seriously. So, I was astonished when my father told me that he would let me stay here until I graduate from high school. He told me that although the costs are intimidating for the average father, he is giving this opportunity as a gift to me for growing up without any particular troubles.
My father then left alone, telling me to enjoy my high school life.
Thanks to my father, I now comfortably enjoy my high school life. I also have my mother and brother, whom I can always rely on even when I’m down. However, I know that my father lives in a small apartment, and I also know that my father is lonely. I know I have a brusque personality, so I usually didn’t express feelings of love and gratitude to my father. But now, I want to have courage and say what I didn’t say before to my father.
Thank you, father.
I love you more than anyone loves you.
I want to apologize for not understanding your hard times and your feelings.
Before it’s too late, I will take one more step every day to get closer with you.